I don’t hate you, but if I had the option to remove you from my life, I would.
December 3, 2013.
You walked in front of me like I was nothing. I wanted to say “hi” but I didn’t want to face rejection. The sight of you made all our memories rush through my mind. In my mind I repeated the words “come back to me” but I knew you wouldn’t. I miss our times together so much. But I’m in another relationship now with someone who makes me happy, but for some reason I don’t feel as happy as I should. His kisses don’t make me blush and smile like your’s did. His hand fits perfectly with mine but your’s didn’t. I am so confused and I don’t know what to do. For some reason, you still hold a special place in my heart. You make me weak and angry. But with him, I don’t seem to think of you at all. I guess what I’m saying is, I’ve moved on.. but not completely.
I think the worst part about trying to get over someone is that there’s so much around you that reminds you of them. Little things like a certain song, a movie, a TV show, a color, a store, a shirt, a jacket, or anything else like that. How can you get over someone when everything around you reminds yourself of them?
The worst kind of break-up.
When you two know in your hearts that you just can’t go on. When it’s “for the best.” When you have to let go but you don’t want to. That’s the worst kind of break-up. Because your feelings are still there. You didn’t break-up because someone found someone else, or the relationship got boring, or you lost feelings, but because you know the relationship won’t last. It’s a sad and bitter truth. These types of break-ups are heartaching and usually happens with long distance relationships. It takes awhile to move on because your feelings are still strong. But you have to face the fact that now is just not the time. And if possible, go ahead and try again in the future.
I love you. You love her. She loves you back.
Who the fuck loves me?
I care about you so much.
I just wish you could see how much I do. Sometimes, I wish you cared about me as much as I do to you. I know, you went out of your way just to see me but that’s it. You know how I feel about you, how I pretty much like you, and yet you still talk about your crushes to me. How you want her to be your wife. I feel like you jus don’t care about my feelings.